Let’s Talk Trash

Benedikt Sebastian
4 min readFeb 17, 2022

Let’s face it, humans suck.

We’re the scum of this universe. Entitled earthlings who think some celestial being put us on this gigantic floating rock, for a higher purpose. We’ve been trying to figure that out ever since we made our first fire, cooked our first T-Rex, T-bone steak and tossed the leftovers.

The only thing we’re really good at, is generating waste. Lots of it. Junk scraped into mountains all over the world. Billions of tons of putrid garbage. 259, 875,159,532 cubic miles of leftovers.

Everyday thousands of miles of refuse float around in the ocean, killing practically every living thing that it comes in contact with and slowly sucks the life out of all the coral reefs on this once glorious planet. This is happening because globally, kombucha sipping hippies and their Pepsi Light counterparts sip out of straws, eat with plastic utensils and want their fresh, golden apples individually wrapped.

Huge plots of land have been transformed into massive landfill sites that attract rats and cockroaches and god knows what other pests, that consume mindlessly as they spread infectious diseases wherever they go. Killing innocent lives of children not yet infected with our entitled attitude of fucking the earth.

While I’m at it, let’s toss pollution into this dump. After all it is a byproduct of a bunch of other crap we produce. Same goes for oil spills, sewerage, farts, and that piece of shit in front of me who tossed his cigarette butt and Zero Sugar Coke can out of his sputtering, gas guzzling pickup truck. Oh and fast food, let’s not forget about that — correction, junk food. It’s all the same. It’s all trash.

We’re essentially supercomputers programmed to destroy everything in our wake and the only thing we leave behind is trash. We’re the top of the food chain, that’s why we can do this. Fuck everything else.

We, the glorious machines of mass destruction, have existed for a mere three hundred thousand years on this ball of molten lava, rock and water. Considering that the earth is 4,543 billion years old, that makes it a fraction of a second, it’s absolutely fucking nothing. We’re infantile in the grand scheme of things. If an invisible alien put us here for some yet, unknown reason, it only happened just now and she’s probably…

Benedikt Sebastian

Multidisciplinary creative and polymath, Benedikt Sebastian is a storyteller and comedian who creates for multiple mediums.