The Weekly Update 006
2 min readDec 28, 2020
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- In Thousand Oaks a large group of Carolers protested the Stay-At-Home Order Extension. They pulled out all the bells and whistles as they prepared to sang their swan song.
- An LA County Sheriff’s Dept Deputy, had sex at universal studios, with his mic on. Apparently he was testing out a new ride. She said, she had had better rides in her life.
- Ex Hillsong members claimed the church is a cult and that they demanded slave labor. A cult exploiting people in the name of a higher purpose… What else is new?
- A rare 18th century violin was stolen from an art dealer’s home in Los Angeles. Police are calling it an act of Domestic Violins.
- Kim Yo Jong is set to become the first Woman Dictator in history. Just what the world needs, a frustrated woman, building on her father’s legacy while trying to outdo her twisted brother’s reign, in charge of 70 Nuclear Weapons.
- The Moderna vaccine supposedly triggers side effects in people with cosmetic fillers. I guess Florida will have to secede from the United States.
- 50,000-gallon sewage spill prompts temporary closure of all beaches in Long Beach. They weren’t talking shit when they said they’re gonna close the beaches.
- Hillary Baldwin, calls herself Hilaria, dons an accent and spends almost 20 years claiming to be Spanish. Hilarias.
- Tom Cruise blew up at workers for breaking COVID-19 rules. Let me rephrase that — High level cult member rants… expect increase in membership.
- Archaeologists uncovered an ancient Street Food Shop in Pompeii. Apparently they had a huge craving for charred food and burnt toast. Must’ve been stoned.
